Embracing the Weird
According to https://www.merriam-webster.com/ , the full definition of “weird” is:
1: of strange or extraordinary character
2: of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural
Zooming in…
“of strange or extraordinary character"
Zooming in…
“strange”
In prehistoric times, being wary of the strange and unfamiliar was necessary for survival. Any outlier in the surroundings was a cause for distrust. Our ancestors survived by choosing the familiar and fitting in with their tribes and just like all other successful evolutionary mechanisms, this prejudice against the unfamiliar got hardwired in our DNA. The times have changed, our surroundings have changed but, the brain hasn’t caught up yet. And now, this evolutionary mechanism is creating such a conundrum for us.
On one hand, we are constantly seeking attention. We want our social media friends to admire how unique and special we are. But on the other hand, we desperately want to be like everyone else. Our jobs, our looks, even our hobbies are designed to fit in, to be familiar. Just look at Instagram! We want to be admired but for having the same hair/body as the popular people have. We want to impress everyone by traveling to locations that are on the bucket-list of all our friends. And anytime we come across someone different, we consciously or unconsciously deem them weird.
I had a co-worker once who would come to the cafeteria and read a book while eating. People generally used the time to mingle and he definitely stood out. Some did send strange smirks in his direction but it didn’t matter to him at all. I, on the other hand, projected confidence while conforming and made myself miserable. I would suffer through team lunches and happy hours pretending to be a ray of sunshine. Only later did I realize why I dreaded the social events so much. The way I had been conditioned in my childhood and adolescence, I would try to masquerade as an extrovert without even realizing what I was doing. The subconscious programming would take over and I would try to be funny and social all the while desperately waiting for the event to end, lest anyone saw my introverted and sometimes awkward and goofy personality.
Gradually, as I made efforts to reconnect with myself, I also tried to reconnect with nature. I would go on solo walks and it was so easy to get lost in nature. I wanted to hug the trees, walk barefoot on the grass. But every time I went and leaned against a tree running my hand on the trunk, admiring the rough texture beneath my fingers, I would gradually become conscious of people staring at me in a confused manner. In my mind, they were judging me.
Recently I was talking to this lovely, young girl who is very dear to me. She was going through this typical adolescent phase of trying to fit in and be a part of a group. Isn’t that what shows like "Friends" teach us? You can’t be happy till you’re part of a clique! How utterly sad is that? If we feel lonely when we are by ourselves, that’s saying we don’t enjoy our own company. That kind of a belief system will totally erode our self worth. Fortunately, at half my age, this girl has twice the maturity. She realized that in her efforts to fit in, she was compromising her individuality. And even though it was difficult at first, she chose to stay authentic to herself. I wish all of us could be that brave.
Forcing ourselves to fit in is like a peacock trying to pluck out its feathers because it’s surrounded by sparrows and crows. But that’s not what a peacock does, right? Even if the crows squawk at it, it ignores them and chooses to stay majestic.
If we look at how minorities have been treated across centuries, we see the rejection and the judgement thrown at them. There is growing awareness but we humans still rampantly differentiate and distance. We start early enough when we refuse to play with some of the kids on the playground. In our teens, we try to fit into a clique at school and mock those who don’t. As we grow up into more sophisticated but less genuine beings, we armor ourselves with smirks and sarcasm against “weird” people. And little do we realize that every time we belittle someone else, a part of us gets even more scared of being judged.
How about trying kindness instead, to others and to ourselves. Change has to start with us truly accepting ourselves, all our facets, all our quirks and idiosyncrasies. Until we accept all of our parts, we will always try to hide those from others.
The first step is to acknowledge that we do this and the second step is to bring awareness to our actions. Once we begin to truly love and accept all part of ourselves, it will bring such a freedom to our lives. And only when we are truly accepting of ourselves, can we be truly accepting of others. Our external life is always deeply correlated with out internal atmosphere. When we are in harmony with ourselves, we can be in harmony with the world.
The journey will be a long and difficult one but so is any journey towards freedom, isn’t it? From my experience I can vouch for it’s beauty but it’s also difficult and treacherous at times. Often it’s 1 step forward and 2 steps back, but I know I’ll get there eventually. So if you see me reading by myself instead of socializing, going to the movies by myself, hugging trees or writing posts that irritate you, don’t be surprised. I’m getting ready to embrace myself fully, and that means embracing all the weird that comes with it.
What if all of us decided to focus a bit differently?
“of strange or extraordinary character"
Zooming in…
“extraordinary”
What if we decided to focus on the beauty of the extraordinary instead? Now that, would be an extraordinary way to live!
