Are You All Right?
June 14th 2020, San Francisco
I woke up and checked my news feed expecting to see news of more lockdowns as the pandemic raged across the world. Still groggy and bleary eyed, I read of Sushant Singh Rajput’s death by suicide. Jolted awake by the shock, I scoured news report after news report to make sense of this tragedy. What could drive an incredibly talented young Bollywood star to take his own life? All social media was completely inundated with people expressing shock and grief and then anger and opinions. For months, conspiracy theories floated around and passionate wars were fought on Twitter. Media channels minted views as the viewership reached peaks. Politicians gleefully joined in the turf wars with an eye towards impending state elections. A country battling with covid, instead of mourning the millions of poverty stricken families who had lost their daily sustenance to covid, were busy mourning the one star that fell down.
But what a star he was! I wish we had watched more earnestly as he burned up the silver screen with his performances. Instead, the vultures made bonfires over his grave and we paid way more attention to that.
Why did his suicide take the whole nation by such a storm? It was a heart-breaking tragedy no doubt. But unfortunately, such tragedies occur way too often in these times. And especially in a country ravaged by the pandemic, such tragedies were quite common. The isolation and the fear culminated in a darkness not everyone could get out of. But for some reason, his suicide became larger than his life was allowed to be. Was it because it exposed so thoroughly how difficult it is to stay sane in today’s world?
As we get more social, we are getting more isolated internally. As we get more money and success, social media makes us feel more of a failure. The current generation is living in world that is completely incomprehensible for the older generations. Constant access to high speed internet, peer pressure of partaking in substance abuse, losing the stability of family connections; all these things are slowly chipping away at our mental health. If someone like Sushant, with all his potential and all his success couldn’t take it, what chance do we have? Perhaps we were affected so intensely because, at some level we were scared. Perhaps there was a sense of “that could be me". Yes, he was a film star but he was also a young guy just trying to stay afloat. Perhaps we wanted to blame someone because we didn’t want to deal with what a truly desolate place the world can be.
The age of the millennials and Gen Z is forever going to be defined by the covid pandemic. But for years now, a silent, much less talked about epidemic has lurked. The silent killer has been growing more deadly and vicious and snatching away an increasing number of victims. Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in United Kingdom. And the other countries aren’t very far behind. We sit up and take notice when it claims someone famous like Sushant or Chester (Linkin Park) or Avicii or John Mcafee or Chris Cornell or Robin Williams, and then we forget again.
Why are these people not able to get the help that they need? Why are we failing them so miserably? There has always been such stigma attached with admitting that we have mental health issues. People have often been ostracized, made fun of or, at the very least, called names behind their back. People get all the help and support and sympathy they need when their lungs don’t work to capacity, or their liver or kidneys are struggling to get the job done, or if they are having trouble regulating their blood pressure or blood sugar. So why the negativity if someone is having difficulty regulating their emotions? Why the mockery when their prefrontal cortex is struggling to get the job done? Why the judgement if their dopamine pathways have hijacked their ability to stay sober all the time?
And who amongst us is really truly sane? You don’t have to write a pledge of sanity in the comments section below but can you, at the very least, be honest to yourself? Are you sane every waking minute of every single day?
Modern age is wreaking havoc on our minds. There are so many factors pushing us to the brink — being plugged in constantly, social media, drug and alcohol abuse, break-down of traditional family structures and communities, increasing work and commute stress.
There are glimmers of hope at times as more people adopt mindfulness practices and start taking breaks from social media. The pandemic has also awakened us to how important family and community ties are. But compared to how fast and hard we are falling, this parachute of hope seems flimsy.
So is there anything that we can do? We commit to taking better care of ourselves. Change starts with us. Let us all turn to ourselves and take the responsibility to make sure we are good physically and mentally. Let’s take steps to connect- with family, with friends, with nature and with ourselves. Go for long solitary walks and get some sunlight every day. Set a routine to have a 5 minute journaling practice everyday. Amidst the sea of acquaintances, make more time for the few real friends and for family. They are the ones who will stay when the sun isn’t shining so brightly. And help others! Do the grocery shopping for your elderly neighbor, buy some stationery for your maid’s school going daughter, buy a meal for a homeless person or just donate a few bucks to your favorite charity. I guarantee that it will help you more than it will help the recipient.
The new year has rolled in and it has brought in fresh opportunities. It’s up to us to make this the year of healing for ourselves and our communities. Let 2022 be the year we start becoming okay again.
